"How much Alchemist’s Fire do you need?"
"Three for the Arson, and one for the road."
-Our Alchemist to our Sorcerer.
Anonymous asked: Yeah no tell us more dnd adventure stories please
Alright kids, gather round and i’ll tell you of my very first hilarious D&D escapade.
So in the campaign I was playing a half orc barbarian named Bard (Dumb as rocks I tell you, poor fellow) and a Half elf mage named…to be honest I don’t remember her name because through the whole adventure everyone called her “Uber Squishy” due to the fact that her armour class was utterly pitiful.
Anywho, the party had just finished killing a bunch of zombies and the the next place we were headed was straight down a deep dark hole. Well, not a lot of us had dark-vision, and we didn’t have torches; so what was the next logical step? Light the zombie corpses on fire and toss them down the hole, duh. Once we had our meat bonfire cheerily ablaze below we all shimmied onto the ladder single file. the second we’re all on the DM stops us and says to roll for constitution. We were pretty confused, what was going on? The DM slowly explained that we had just lit rotting flesh on fire and that the noxious fumes from below was logically going to make us sick. I failed, on both of my characters. Guess who was at the top? Me. So I threw up on my friends below. Some of my party below failed and they threw up in the people beneath them. Then because some people were being thrown up on, and that’s gross, and you know sometimes people sympathy puke, they had to roll for constitution as well. To say the least there was a puke conga line going on and it is by far still one of the funniest moments I have ever witnessed in a game.
- DM: So, do you enter the tentacle?
- Adam: Only in D&D would that sentence be in that order.
DM (to good wizard): You find a Horn of Goodness/Evil. Once a day, you can use it to cast Magic Circle Against Evil. It has no effect if used by a True Neutral character.
True Neutral fighter: What’s it do when I blow it then? *holds hands up to mouth to make horn-like sound* NoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo.
DM: *snorts drink out nose*