I’m K. Female, 23, married, education major. Things you’ll see here: Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Avengers, ATLA & LOK, Supernatural, and cute animals. --- (formerly kandkathome) --- feel free to send me silly messages/ prompts/ random questions.
Alright kids, gather round and i’ll tell you of my very first hilarious D&D escapade.
So in the campaign I was playing a half orc barbarian named Bard (Dumb as rocks I tell you, poor fellow) and a Half elf mage named…to be honest I don’t remember her name because through the whole adventure everyone called her “Uber Squishy” due to the fact that her armour class was utterly pitiful.
Anywho, the party had just finished killing a bunch of zombies and the the next place we were headed was straight down a deep dark hole. Well, not a lot of us had dark-vision, and we didn’t have torches; so what was the next logical step? Light the zombie corpses on fire and toss them down the hole, duh. Once we had our meat bonfire cheerily ablaze below we all shimmied onto the ladder single file. the second we’re all on the DM stops us and says to roll for constitution. We were pretty confused, what was going on? The DM slowly explained that we had just lit rotting flesh on fire and that the noxious fumes from below was logically going to make us sick. I failed, on both of my characters. Guess who was at the top? Me. So I threw up on my friends below. Some of my party below failed and they threw up in the people beneath them. Then because some people were being thrown up on, and that’s gross, and you know sometimes people sympathy puke, they had to roll for constitution as well. To say the least there was a puke conga line going on and it is by far still one of the funniest moments I have ever witnessed in a game.
DM: So, do you enter the tentacle?
Adam: Only in D&D would that sentence be in that order.
DM: With the barrier gone, you just allowed an army of demons to enter the tower we’re inside. What do you do next?
DM (to good wizard): You find a Horn of Goodness/Evil. Once a day, you can use it to cast Magic Circle Against Evil. It has no effect if used by a True Neutral character.
True Neutral fighter: What’s it do when I blow it then? *holds hands up to mouth to make horn-like sound* NoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo.
DM: *snorts drink out nose*
Party: *tears through 5 goblins like tissue paper*
DM: You see another goblin blocking the bridge. He holds his hands up and says in Goblin “Please don’t kill me.”
Wizard: I speak Goblin! I ask him if he knows a quick way out of this joint.
DM: He says he does.
Wizard: I ask his name and tell him to lead the way.
DM: His name is… *panics slightly and throws two syllables together* Grabut.
Druid: His name is Grab Butt?
Entire party: *hysterical laughter*
DM: Well shit.